Some Myths About the Jewish People
I have been asked many questions about my people and my heritage,
and I felt I should take this time
to dispel some myths about us Jews.
No, not all Jews wear yarmulkes.
In fact, most of us don't, and the ones that do
definitely won't let you use one as a frisbee,
so please stop asking.
No, not all Jews are bankers.
There are tons of Jewish doctors and lawyers too,
and there's gotta be at least six or seven Jewish athletes.
(No Jewish priests, however.)
No, Jews are not born from eggs.
That's stupid.
No, we Jews cannot fire lasers from our eyes,
nor can we turn into everyday objects
such as cars and cellphones.
I'm pretty sure whoever asked me this
was confusing Jews with some sort of combination
of Superman and Transformers.
To be honest, I don't really mind the spreading
of this particular rumor.
I hope this has cleared up some confusion,
because looking at the way many people talk about us,
it's clear most of them have no fucking clue what a Jew is.
--Pastry
