Things I Think About, Part I
So I was working on a paper the other night
when my thought process was completely derailed
by a simple question that has plagued my mind ever since:
What smells worse,
a skunk or a skunk's shit?
I could truly see it going either way.
I have never smelled a skunk turd
(and I hope never to reach the point in my life
where I find myself voluntarily doing so).
So for all I know,
skunk crap just might smell finer than the finest perfume.
It might smell so good, I could bottle it up
and sell it as "Poo de Skunk."
I mean, I'd bet it still smells like shit, but ya never know.
I'm sure I could just Google this
and get my answer in five minutes,
but to be honest I'd rather not know.
That way, this can remain
another of life's little mysteries.
--Pastry
P.S.: Feel free to use the comments section of this post to debate this extremely important question.
If farts smelled like bacon, would we like the smell of farts or dislike the smell of bacon?
ReplyDeleteBased on my circumspect knowledge of the skunk, I'll further a hypothesis:
ReplyDeleteThe skunk is a civet cat. It has a gland somewhere near its junk that produces the acrid fluid which it sprays on predators and inquisitive children. I think that the orifice that atomizes this foul mist is unrelated to the asshole. Since most animals are pretty used to the smell of shit, I assume that in order to defend itself by assaulting the olfactory system of its malefactor, the skunk had to evolve something that smelled even more repulsive than shit. Catching a whiff of this, a hungry beast would think "why would I ever eat this thing, it smells worse than shit," and then go kill something else. Or starve.